“Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace”
The above heading is a quote by the Dalai Lama. It is a quote that I have read many times and shared with my clients on many occasions.
The Dalai Lama speaks the truth in this statement. We allow others to determine our inner peace. Ill-manner and disrespect are the most common behaviours that affect us. We can choose to protect our inner peace by practicing assertiveness.
But first we need to believe we are worth protecting. Unfortunately, most of us believe otherwise.
To get to a place of high self-esteem and self-worth, we need to question if we deserve to be poorly treated. Should we not receive compassion or respect? Do we not deserve love? If you answer honestly you will come to realise how important you really are.
We need to honour our core values to become assertive. There is a long list of values, and many people have many different values and knowing your own list is the most important.
Knowing what behaviour in others annoy you is the starting point to creating your own list. For example, if poor time-keeping annoys you then, punctuality is a core value of yours. It is through this knowing that helps us see what it is we are allowing or tolerating from others, so we can choose to honour our values now by practicing assertiveness.
Examples of being assertive: If saying no will do more for our inner peace than saying yes, choose to say no. If walking away will do more for our inner peace than staying still, choose to walk away. If asking for help will do more for our inner peace than struggling, choose to ask for help.
Also, from another view point, we need to be aware of how our behaviour affects others. Treat people how you would like to be treated. And choose assertiveness when the behaviour of others is destroying your inner peace, you are worth it.