CHRISTMAS EVE

A wee warning about that Christmas Eve bargain hunt

Democrat Reporter

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A wee warning about that Christmas Eve bargain  hunt

With the obligatory apology to all our Cavan cousins and friends, this wee yarn from a Frank Galligan column from December 20th, 2007, caught our eye for the day that is in it and it might ring a few bells in more than Cavan:

Paddy Reilly from Ballyjamesduff leaves it to the last minute on Christmas Eve – hoping to get a bargain – and goes into a large perfumery in Cavan. “Howsa goin’? says he, “I’m lookin’ somethin’ for herself.”

“Any particular range?” is the response from the rather haughty assistant. “Chape!” says he. “I’m not familiar with that brand,” she informs him, “do you have brand name?”

“Brut” says he. “But that’s for men,” she responds. “Be jaysus girl,” he replies, “you haven’t seen her! Recommend something.” She bamboozles him with Nina Ricci, Kate Moss, Christian Dior etc. until he pins her with the sixty million dollar question: “How much for a midlin’ bottle?” “€75.00”

He laughs at the increasingly exasperated assistant and begins haggling. Thirty minutes later, he has beaten her down to a fragrance resembling Jeyes Fluid costing €10.00 but just as she’s about to wrap it, he growls: “No…no…show me something really chape!”

So she hands him a mirror!