We have our house ready for our baby, believing we would be in Vietnam to adopt a child from there by the end of 2009 .This has now changed since the bi-lateral agreement between Ireland and Vietnam was allowed to run out.
We have put baby gates o
n our stairs, our child's room is ready and I have bought clothes for my little girl ( to cheer myself up and to help me cope with the waiting.)
Not a single day goes by that I do not think of my baby. I imagine what she may look like and I make plans like any pregnant woman – except this is not just 9 months of waiting , this is 6 years.
Not a single day goes by since May 1st closure that I do not cry when I see young happy families or babies as I do not know if I will ever have what they have.
My hopes are slowly being shattered. My friend has just had a beautiful baby girl and I am delighted for her but unable to buy her a gift as I can't bear to go into a children's shop.
This has been one of the most stressful times of my life, and only the most committed and determined can even embark on this journey through international adoption. It is a ' leap of faith'. We have been rigorously assessed and had every aspect of our lives exposed to scrutiny in order to prove that we will be fitting, capable and loving parents. We have no problem with any of this process (even its length) as we thought we would have a great gift at the end of it.
But now I am genuinely worried and very very angry.
It appears the Minister of State for Children, Barry Andrews did not start serious negotiations until the end of 2008. Why did he not start them this time last year?
We have all known for the past five years that it would run out on May 1st 2009. Why was the draft bi-lateral promised to the Vietnamese and only sent to them on March 6th 2009? Why was a delegation (and NOT Mr Andrews himself!?) only sent to Vietnam week beginning 20th April 2009, only a week and a half before the deadline?
This is outrageous and this issue now needs to be addressed by the Government.
I am sick of listening to the Fianna Fail politicians stand up for the Minister for Children and defend him.
He has failed us miserably and caused so much heartbreak for thousands of families. He surely now must do all he can to sort out this sorry mess before the Dail breaks up for Summer.
I am worried that if it is not sorted out very soon it will be after the Dail resumes in October 2009 before negotiations restart. This will add years to our wait and more importantly means that children will be remaining in orphanages for much longer. This increases the possibilities of institutionalisation and attachment issues and of course the health of these babies will be affected.
What will the Minister do then if we eventually get to adopt?? Will he help us with the medical costs of treating these children? I don't think so.
We all want this process to be as transparent as is possible and as the Minister stated we want 'to strengthen the protection of children in intercountry adoption between the two countries'.
This is a human issue that is affecting many at this present time in Ireland. I feel our Government is doing too little too late.
Yours,
A. Kearns
Tirargus,
Co. Donegal
